Understanding Child-Inclusive Mediation: Giving Children a Voice
- Sarah-Jane Turnbull
- Apr 1
- 4 min read
When families experience separation or divorce, the experience of each member of the family is unique so ensuring that children’s needs, feelings, and voices are heard is so important. Child-Inclusive Mediation (CIM) is a specialised approach that allows children to express their thoughts in a safe and neutral environment. By involving children in the mediation process, parents can make informed, child-centred decisions that prioritise their well-being.
This blog explores how child-inclusive mediation works, its benefits, and why it might be the right choice for your family when creating parenting plans or resolving disputes.
What is Child-Inclusive Mediation?
Child-Inclusive Mediation is an optional part of the mediation process designed to give children the opportunity to share their views about family arrangements. The process is conducted by accredited FMCA family mediators with additional training in child-inclusive mediation.
The focus is always on the child’s emotional safety and well-being. Children are not asked to make decisions or take sides. Instead, they are given the chance to share their thoughts, feelings, and wishes in a supportive environment.
Participation in child-inclusive mediation is entirely voluntary, and the child’s feedback is only shared with their parents if they agree.
How Does Child-Inclusive Mediation Work?
Step 1: Initial MIAMs with Parents
Child-Inclusive mediation (CIM) begins with separate Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings (MIAMs) for each parent. During the MIAMs, the mediator will give information about CIM where appropriate.
Step 2: Mediation Session - Gaining Consent from Parents and the Child
Both parents attend a mediation session. If in this session they both agree to invite their child to the mediation process and the mediator considers this suitable in all the circumstances, then the mediator will then contact the child in a way the child can easily understand. The child must feel comfortable with the process and provide their consent to participate.
Step 3: Meeting with the Child
The child then meets with the mediator in a setting both parents are comfortable with. These sessions are informal and designed to make the child feel at ease. The child is encouraged to express their thoughts and feelings, but they are not pressured to make decisions or choose sides.
All discussions remain confidential to the child (safeguarding exceptions apply) and the child agrees with the mediator what is to be fed back subsequently to their parents.
Mediators are trained to ensure these conversations are age-appropriate and sensitive to the child’s emotional well-being.
Step 4: Feedback to Parents
The mediator carefully shares the child’s feedback with their parents during a follow-up mediation session. This feedback is presented neutrally, focusing on helping parents make decisions that are in the child’s best interests.
The Benefits of Child-Inclusive Mediation
1. Empowering Children to Have a Voice
Separation can be a confusing and emotional time for children. Child-Inclusive Mediation gives them a safe space to express their feelings and ensures they feel heard and valued.
2. Helping Parents Understand Their Child’s Needs
Hearing their child’s perspective often helps parents gain valuable insight into their child’s emotional and practical needs. This can lead to parenting plans that are more effective and considerate.
3. Reducing Conflict Between Parents
When parents focus on their child’s well-being, it can shift the emphasis away from disagreements and towards collaboration. This helps reduce tension and improve co-parenting relationships.
4. Supporting Emotional Well-Being Without Burdening the Child
The process ensures that children are not asked to make decisions or mediate between parents. Instead, it provides a safe platform for them to share their thoughts in a way that feels natural and unpressured.
5. Creating Practical and Child-Centred Parenting Plans
The child’s feedback helps parents develop parenting plans that prioritise their children’s stability and happiness.
Is Child-Inclusive Mediation Right for Your Family?
Child-Inclusive Mediation can be a valuable tool for families, but it is not suitable for all situations. It is most effective when:
Both parents are open to hearing and acting on their child’s views.
The child feels comfortable participating.
There are no safeguarding concerns or high levels of conflict that could negatively impact the child’s well-being.
If you’re unsure whether Child-Inclusive Mediation is the right choice for your family, discussing your situation with an FMCA-accredited family mediator is a good first step.
Client Feedback: Real Stories of Success
“The mediator made our son feel completely at ease. Hearing his thoughts through the mediator gave us clarity and helped us create a parenting plan that works for everyone.”
“We had no idea how our daughter felt about the situation until mediation. Knowing what was important to her helped us come to an agreement we could all feel good about.”
How Pax Mediation Can Help
At Pax Mediation, our FMCA-accredited family mediators are experienced in conducting child-inclusive mediation with care and professionalism. We provide:
A safe, neutral space where children can share their feelings.
Guidance for parents to create solutions that prioritise their child’s well-being.
Support throughout the mediation process, helping families resolve conflicts constructively.
📞 Call us: 0800 058 4303
📧 Email us: admin@paxmediation.co.uk
Take the First Step Towards Child-Centred Resolutions
When children have a voice in the mediation process, it helps families create solutions that truly work for everyone. Child-Inclusive Mediation can lead to better communication, reduced conflict, and parenting plans that reflect your child’s needs and wishes. If you’re ready to explore this option, Pax Mediation is here to guide you every step of the way.
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