Going through the emotional journey of a separation or divorce is tough. Then when all the practical issues that you face are considered such as where to live, what is happening with the children and who is paying the mortgage, it can become overwhelming. Family mediation can help to sort out these practical issues which in turn helps ease the emotional burden.
Provide information
Looking at all the decisions to be made once you’ve separated can be daunting. If you’ve never done this before, it's likely you won't know where to begin. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle but you don't have the box with the photo so until you put the pieces together you won’t know what it’s going to look like.
In mediation we take everything a step at a time. When resolving your finances, the first step is to gather information. You collect information about the value of what you own, and anything you owe. Once you have exchanged information, and completed your financial disclosure you can make an informed choice as to what happens next. It’s important that you understand your financial situation so that you are in the best position to make informed decisions. You are encouraged to ask each other questions about your finances to assist your understanding.
Understanding people’s priorities
You may have different priorities from each other about what you want to achieve and so can’t agree about how to separate your finances. You are each going on to a separate life, it’s not unusual if you don't agree with each other’s priorities, but it is useful to understand them. That’s where mediation can really help because it gives you the opportunity to hear each other. It may be that although you have different ideas of how to realise your goals you both still want to be fair to each other and or you both want to ensure the children's needs are met first before your own.
Mapping out what is going to happen next
What is the next chapter going to look like? What we look at in mediation is how you want the next stage of your lives to look: how are you going to live, where are you going to live? You may feel anxious and worried about it but unless you can picture it and put it together you may find it difficult to move forward.
What do you each need to move forward with this new chapter? If needed the mediator can signpost you to services to help you manage the next stage of your post separation life. Otherwise you should have reached a stage in the mediation process to generate resolutions to conclude the issues between you.
If it sounds like mediation would be helpful to you please call us on 01670 528441 or email at info@familymediation-northeast.com