Understand what matters to your child.
CHILDREN'S VOICE PROCESS
You want to make arrangements that help your child feel secure, supported and loved. Hearing how they experience life across their family can help you understand what they need.
The Children’s Voice Process gives your child an opportunity to speak privately with an experienced family mediator. With their permission, we share what they would like you to understand, helping you make decisions with their perspective in mind.
Your child has a voice. You remain responsible for the decisions.
Make arrangements with a fuller understanding of your child’s needs
You and your child’s other parent may see things differently. Hearing what matters to your child can give you a shared focus and help you consider arrangements through their eyes.
Your child does not need to be distressed or asking for help to benefit from being heard. They may have positive things to share, practical suggestions or feelings they have not yet found the words to explain.
Even when you talk openly together, your child may find some things difficult to say. They might worry about upsetting you, hurting their other parent’s feelings or making things harder.
Speaking with someone outside the family gives them another opportunity to express themselves.
They may want to talk about moving between homes, school routines, missing someone, time with siblings or things that are going well. Sometimes a small change can make a meaningful difference to their everyday life.
Listening can help you:
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Understand feelings or concerns you may not have been aware of.
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Recognise what is working well and what your child values.
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Consider practical changes that could support them.
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Show your child that their views matter.
A voice without the pressure of choosing
Your child will not be asked to choose between their parents, settle a disagreement or decide where they should live.
They can talk about their experiences, feelings and what they would like the adults to understand. You remain responsible for making decisions, considering their views alongside their wider needs.
Sarah-Jane listens impartially. She does not take either parent’s side or assess who is the better parent. Her role is to help your child express themselves and share the feedback they agree can be passed on.
How The Process Works
Separate meetings with each parent
Sarah-Jane meets you and your child’s other parent separately to understand your circumstances, explain the process and consider whether it is suitable for your family.
You can ask questions and discuss any concerns. Both parents need to agree before your child is invited.
A personal invitation to your child
Your child receives an invitation from Sarah-Jane and information explaining what to expect.
Taking part is voluntary. They can accept, decline or change their mind. Arrangements for meeting in person or online are discussed with parents beforehand.
A private meeting with Sarah-Jane
Your child meets Sarah-Jane without either parent present. They can talk, draw or use activities to help express their thoughts.
They do not need to prepare anything, and there are no right or wrong answers. They can skip a question, take a break or stop.
Sarah-Jane agrees with them what, if anything, they would like shared and with whom.
Hearing your child’s feedback
Sarah-Jane shares the feedback your child has agreed can be passed on. Where agreed, your solicitors can also attend to listen.
This gives you an opportunity to understand your child’s perspective and reflect before considering your next steps.
The process can inform discussions about arrangements. It does not guarantee an agreement or a particular outcome.
Meet Sarah-Jane
Your child will meet Sarah-Jane Turnbull, an accredited family mediator and trained child-inclusive mediator at Pax Mediation.
Sarah-Jane provides a calm, supportive space where children can express themselves at their own pace, using conversation and activities suited to their age and needs.
She works with your family throughout the process, from the separate parent meetings to meeting your child and sharing their agreed feedback.
Protecting your child’s trust
Your child needs to know they can speak freely and understand what will happen to anything they say.
Their conversation is private. Sarah-Jane agrees with them what can be shared and with whom. They can choose to share some things or nothing.
If information needs to be shared to help keep a child or someone else safe, confidentiality may need to be broken. Sarah-Jane explains these limits in a way your child can understand.
Parents and any participating solicitors agree to respect the confidentiality and boundaries of the process.
The process does not produce a report for court. Your child’s conversation and feedback must not be used as evidence in proceedings or included in open correspondence. Meetings must not be recorded.
Could this help your family?
The Children’s Voice Process may help if you are making arrangements for the first time, reviewing routines as your child grows or working with solicitors to find a way forward.
You can use this service without taking part in mediation together. We begin by speaking with each parent separately and considering whether the process is appropriate for your family.
We will discuss your child’s age, understanding and individual needs with you when assessing suitability.
Frequently Asked Questions
My child already talks to me. Why might this help?
Talking with you remains important. Meeting someone outside the family offers an additional space where your child can speak without worrying about either parent’s immediate reaction. It may also help them put feelings into words.
Do we have to follow everything our child asks for?
No. Listening means considering their views carefully. You remain responsible for making decisions that meet their needs, and some wishes may not be possible.
Does my child have to take part?
No. Both parents must agree to the invitation, but your child decides whether to accept. They can change their mind or stop at any point.
Will we hear everything they say?
No. You will hear only the feedback your child has agreed can be shared, subject to the safeguarding responsibilities explained beforehand.
How much does it cost?
We will explain the fees and what is included before you decide whether to proceed.
Can our solicitors be involved?
Yes. Where agreed, solicitors can hear your child’s feedback and support you in considering the next steps. They sign a separate agreement confirming that they will respect the confidentiality and boundaries of the process.
Can the meeting take place online?
Meetings can take place in person or online, subject to suitability. We discuss and agree the arrangements with parents beforehand.