Helping children feel heard.
CHILD-INCLUSIVE MEDIATION
When parents separate, children often have thoughts and feelings they struggle to express. Child-Inclusive Mediation gives children the opportunity to share their experiences with a specially trained family mediator in a safe, supportive environment.
Their voice helps parents make informed, child-focused decisions - without asking children to choose sides or make decisions for the adults.
Children Are Never Asked to Choose Between Their Parents
One of the most common misconceptions about Child Inclusive Mediation is that children are asked to make decisions about where they live or who they spend time with.
They are not.
Parents remain responsible for making decisions. Child Inclusive Mediation simply helps parents better understand their child's experiences and perspectives.
How Child-Inclusive Mediation Works
Parents Attend MIAMs
Each parent attends a separate MIAM to discuss whether Child-Inclusive Mediation is suitable and whether everyone is willing to take part.
Joint mediation session
Parents attend mediation together to discuss the issues affecting their family and decide whether involving their child could help.
Mediator Meets with Your Child
If appropriate, a specially trained Child-Inclusive Mediator meets with your child in a safe, neutral environment. Participation is always voluntary, and your child decides what they would like to share.
Parents Hear Their Child's Voice
With your child's permission, the mediator shares the agreed feedback during a follow-up mediation session, helping parents make informed, child-centred decisions.
What Happens Before a Child Is Invited?
Before a child is invited to participate, the mediator will discuss the process with both parents.
This includes:
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Whether Child Inclusive Mediation is suitable.
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The child's age and circumstances.
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Any safeguarding considerations.
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How information will be shared.
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The child's right to choose whether to participate.
Children are never required to take part.
What Do Children Talk About?
Every child is different.
Children may talk about:
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Moving between homes.
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School and friendships.
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Family routines.
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Communication between parents.
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What helps them feel secure.
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Things they would like their parents to understand.
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Their hopes and worries about the future.
Children decide what they would like to discuss.
What Children Do Not Talk About
One of the biggest misconceptions about Child Inclusive Mediation is that children are asked to make decisions.
They are not.
Children are not asked:
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Which parent they want to live with.
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Which parent they love more.
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To choose contact arrangements.
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To make decisions for adults.
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To take responsibility for resolving family disputes.
The responsibility for decision-making remains with parents.
Confidentiality Explained
Children need to feel safe when speaking with a mediator.
The mediator will explain:
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What information can remain private.
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What information may be shared with parents.
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How feedback will be given.
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The limits of confidentiality.
Any safeguarding concerns must be addressed appropriately.
Children remain in control of much of what is shared with their parent.
Understanding Your Child
Gain a deeper understanding of your child's thoughts, feelings and experiences, helping you see situations from their perspective.
Keeping Children at the Centre
Focus on what matters most by making decisions based on your child's needs, rather than the conflict between adults.
Better Communication
Reduce misunderstandings and encourage calmer, more constructive conversations between parents.
More Positive Outcomes
Use your child's perspective to make informed decisions that reduce conflict and support their long-term wellbeing.
Frequently Asked Questions
What age does a child need to be?
There is no fixed age at which a child can participate in Child Inclusive Mediation. As a general guide, children are often around 10 years old or older, but suitability depends on the individual child, their maturity, and their circumstances. A mediator will discuss this with parents before any invitation is made.
Does my child have to attend?
No. Participation is always voluntary. Children should never feel pressured to take part in Child Inclusive Mediation. The process is explained to them in an age-appropriate way, and they can decide whether they would like to meet with the mediator.
Can my child refuse?
Yes. A child can choose not to participate, even if both parents would like them to. Equally, a child can decide during the process that they no longer wish to continue. Their wishes will be respected.
Will I hear everything my child says?
Not necessarily. Children are encouraged to speak openly and honestly, and part of creating a safe space is respecting their privacy. The mediator will discuss confidentiality with the child and agree what information, if any, they would like shared with their parents. Feedback is usually shared in a way that helps parents understand their child's experiences and needs.
What if parents disagree about involving a child?
The mediator will explore the reasons for the disagreement with both parents. Child Inclusive Mediation generally requires the agreement of everyone involved, including the child. If concerns exist, the mediator will discuss whether the process is suitable and what options may be available to support the family.
How long does the meeting take?
This varies depending on the child's age, needs and preferences. Meetings are usually between 30 and 60 minutes, although some may be shorter or longer. The mediator will ensure the meeting is paced appropriately and that the child feels comfortable throughout.
Is Child Inclusive Mediation confidential?
Yes, Child Inclusive Mediation is a confidential process. However, as with all mediation services, there are limits to confidentiality. If a child discloses information that raises concerns about their safety or the safety of another person, the mediator may need to take appropriate action in line with safeguarding responsibilities. These limits are explained clearly to both parents and children.
Is legal aid available?
In many cases, yes. If one parent is eligible for legal aid, Child Inclusive Mediation may be available without cost to either parent. Eligibility depends on individual circumstances. Our team can discuss legal aid with you and help determine whether funding may be available for your family.