How Long Will Everything Take After Separation?
NAVIGATING SEPARATION
When you separate, it is natural to wonder when things will feel more settled. There is no single timetable. Some arrangements can be discussed quite quickly; others take longer because information needs to be gathered, circumstances change, or a legal process has its own stages.
It may help to think about the different parts separately. What needs attention now? What can be worked through over the coming weeks? And which steps depend on a court or another professional?
Can we make arrangements for the children before everything else is resolved?
You do not have to settle every question about your separation before talking about the children’s day-to-day arrangements. Parents may want to discuss where the children will spend time, how they will keep in touch with each parent, and what will happen during school holidays.
Some families begin with arrangements that work for the present and revisit them as the children’s needs become clearer. What does your family need to plan for now, and what might be better reviewed later?
How long does mediation take?
Mediation does not have a fixed number of sessions. The time involved depends on what you want to discuss, whether you are both ready to take part, and whether you need information or advice between meetings.
A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is an individual first meeting. If mediation is suitable and you both decide to continue, you can explore the issues together in further sessions. The Family Mediation Council says it usually takes three to five mediation meetings to reach an agreement, although every family is different.
What questions would you each want to bring to a first meeting? Is there information you would need before discussing possible arrangements?
Why might financial arrangements take longer?
Money and property discussions often involve gathering information about income, the home, savings, pensions and debts. Both people need a clear picture of the finances before they can explore possible arrangements. It may also take time to obtain property or pension information or to seek independent legal or financial advice.
In financial mediation, the mediator helps you identify the questions to address and discuss possible options. The mediator does not decide the outcome or give either of you legal or financial advice.
What information do you already have? What would each of you need to understand before considering proposals?
Does a divorce have its own timetable?
Yes. In England and Wales, the divorce process has minimum waiting periods. Once a divorce application has been issued, you generally wait 20 weeks before applying for a conditional order. After the conditional order is made, you must wait at least 6 weeks and 1 day before applying for a final order. Processing and any other steps can add time.
Those waiting periods do not mean discussions about children or finances have to stop. They also do not mean financial arrangements are automatically resolved when the divorce is finalised. If you reach financial proposals, you may wish to obtain independent legal advice about the steps needed to make an agreement legally binding.
What if we cannot agree straight away?
It is common for people to begin a conversation without knowing the final answer. There may be parts you agree on, parts that need more information, and parts you want time to think about. Mediation can provide a place to identify those differences and explore what may be possible.