What Should Happen First After Separation?
NAVIGATING SEPARATION
There is no single starting point that fits every family.
Wondering what to do first after separation? You may have questions about the children, where each person will live, money and what happens next. There is no single starting point that fits every family.
This page explores some of the questions you may want to consider and explains how a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) can help you understand your options.
Are there any immediate safety concerns?
Do you have any concerns about your safety or your children’s safety? Do you feel frightened, controlled or pressured by your former partner?
You can discuss these concerns privately with a family mediator at a MIAM. The mediator will consider whether mediation is suitable in your circumstances. Mediation is not suitable for every family, and specialist support may be more appropriate.
If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.
Children and immediate arrangements
If you have children, what do they need over the next few days? Are there questions about their routines, care or time with each parent that need to be discussed soon?
You may also be thinking about what to tell the children and how to communicate with each other about their needs. Short-term arrangements can be discussed without expecting them to answer every longer-term question.
Your home and finances
You may have questions about where each person will live and how household costs will be met. What information do you each have about income, bills, savings, debts and pensions? What else would you need to understand before discussing longer-term options?
A mediator can help you identify the issues you wish to discuss and support a conversation about possible arrangements. Mediators do not give legal advice. If you have questions about your legal position or the effect of an agreement, an independent solicitor can advise you.
A MIAM is a private, individual meeting with a family mediator. It is an opportunity to explain your circumstances, ask questions and hear about mediation and other ways of resolving family issues. The mediator will also consider with you whether mediation is suitable.
You do not need to have a plan in place before attending. If mediation is suitable and you both choose to take part, it can provide a structured space to discuss arrangements for children, finances or property.