What Happens If My Child Doesn't Want to Go on Holiday With Their Other Parent? How Family Mediation Can Help

The summer holidays are often something children look forward to. Whether it's a trip abroad, a UK break or simply spending extra time with a parent, holidays can create lasting memories.

But what happens when a child says they don't want to go?

This can be an incredibly difficult situation for everyone involved. One parent may feel worried or unsure how to respond, while the other may feel hurt, rejected or concerned that their relationship with their child is being affected.

At Pax Mediation, we regularly meet parents who are facing situations like this. Every family is different, and there is rarely a simple answer. Family mediation provides a safe, impartial space to explore what may be happening and how parents can move forward together.

Why might a child not want to go?

Children may express reluctance for many different reasons.

Sometimes it may be because they are anxious about travelling, missing home or being away from familiar routines.

Other children may be worried about leaving friends behind during the holidays or missing activities they were looking forward to.

In some families, a child may be finding it difficult to adjust to living between two homes, while in others there may be ongoing conflict between parents that leaves a child feeling caught in the middle.

Sometimes children are able to explain exactly how they feel. Other times, their behaviour may simply tell us that something doesn't feel right for them.

Understanding what is behind a child's reluctance is often far more helpful than focusing only on whether they should or shouldn't go.

It can be upsetting for both parents

When a child says they don't want to go on holiday, both parents can experience strong emotions.

One parent may feel anxious about encouraging their child to go, worrying they are forcing them into something they don't want.

The other parent may feel deeply hurt, wondering whether their child no longer wants to spend time with them.

These emotions are understandable, but they can sometimes make conversations between parents more difficult.

When communication breaks down, it can become harder to understand what the child may actually need.

How can mediation help?

Family mediation gives parents an opportunity to talk through these concerns with the support of an impartial mediator.

Rather than deciding who is right or wrong, a mediator helps parents explore what may be contributing to the situation and how they can work together to support their child.

Discussions might include:

• how the child has expressed their feelings

• whether there have been any recent changes in the child's life

• how parents can communicate consistently with their child

• whether holiday arrangements need reviewing

• how both parents can help their child feel safe and reassured

Often, simply having a calm and structured conversation can help reduce misunderstandings and move discussions forward.

Keeping children at the heart of decisions

Children benefit when they know the important adults in their lives are listening to them while also working together.

Mediation encourages parents to focus on their child's individual needs, rather than allowing conflict or assumptions to shape decisions.

Every child is different, and what works well for one family may not be appropriate for another. Taking time to understand a child's perspective can often help parents find a way forward together.

You don't have to navigate this alone

If your child has said they don't want to go on holiday with their other parent, it can leave you feeling worried, upset or uncertain about what to do next.

You don't have to work through those concerns on your own.

At Pax Mediation, we offer MIAMs (Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings) and family mediation sessions where parents can explore difficult situations in a safe, confidential and impartial environment.

We won't tell you what decisions to make or take sides. Instead, we'll help you have constructive conversations that keep your child's needs at the centre.

If you're also worried about other aspects of the summer holidays after separation, you may find these guides helpful:

• Can My Ex Stop Me Taking My Child on Holiday? – exploring how parents can navigate disagreements about taking children on holiday after separation.

• Can My Ex Refuse to Return My Child After Holiday Contact? – looking at concerns around children being returned after holiday contact and how mediation can help parents discuss these worries.

If you're struggling with holiday arrangements or any other child arrangements following separation, you can book a MIAM with one of our experienced family mediators today. We're here to help you find a positive way forward.