My Ex Won’t Agree to Our Child Going on Holiday – What Happens Next?
- Aug 11
- 4 min read
You’ve found the holiday, checked the dates and started looking forward to getting away with your child. Then your ex says they don’t agree to the trip.
For separated parents, disagreements about taking a child on holiday can be stressful, particularly when a holiday is approaching or money has already been spent.
If your ex won’t agree to your child going on holiday, family mediation can give you both a space to discuss the proposed trip, understand any concerns and see whether you can reach an agreement.
Do I Need My Ex’s Permission to Take My Child on Holiday?
Whether you need another person’s consent to take your child abroad will depend on your individual circumstances, including who has parental responsibility and whether any relevant court orders are in place.
Going on holiday within England and Wales and taking a child abroad can also raise different considerations.
A family mediator cannot advise you about whether you legally need consent in your particular circumstances. If you are unsure about your legal position, you should consider obtaining independent legal advice.
However, where parents disagree about a proposed holiday, mediation can help them discuss the practical issues and explore whether an agreement can be reached.
Why Might a Parent Refuse to Agree to a Holiday?
It can be easy to assume that an ex is simply being difficult when they say no to a holiday.
Sometimes that may be how it feels. But there may also be particular concerns behind their response.
For example, a parent might want more information about:
where the child is going;
who they will be travelling with;
flight or travel arrangements;
where they will be staying;
how long they will be away;
how they will keep in contact with the child;
whether the holiday affects the other parent’s usual time with the child; or
when the child will return.
Understanding why a parent is reluctant to agree can be an important first step towards resolving the disagreement.
What Information Should Separated Parents Share About Holidays?
There is no single arrangement that will work for every separated family.
However, sharing practical information about a proposed trip can sometimes provide reassurance and make discussions easier.
Parents might choose to share details such as travel dates, destination, accommodation and flight information, as well as an emergency contact number.
They may also want to discuss how the child can communicate with the parent who remains at home.
Family mediation can help parents decide what information they are both comfortable sharing and, importantly, establish an approach that can be used for future holidays too.
What If I’ve Already Booked the Holiday?
This can make the situation more difficult.
If flights and accommodation have already been paid for, there may suddenly be a deadline for resolving the disagreement. The parent who booked the holiday may feel frustrated about potentially losing money, while the other parent may feel that the decision was made without involving them.
Where possible, discussing overseas holidays before booking can help avoid this pressure.
If the holiday has already been booked and you cannot agree, mediation may still help you have a focused conversation about the outstanding concerns.
Can Family Mediation Help With Holiday Disagreements?
Yes. Disagreements about holidays are one of the practical parenting issues that can be discussed in family mediation.
A mediator does not decide whether the child should be allowed to go on holiday. They will not take sides or tell either parent what they should do.
Instead, mediation provides a structured conversation where each parent can explain their position and identify what they need in order to feel comfortable with an arrangement.
You might discuss:
the proposed holiday dates and destination;
travel and accommodation arrangements;
any concerns either parent has about the trip;
contact between the child and the other parent while away;
how any missed parenting time might be dealt with;
passports and travel documents; and
how future holidays will be discussed and agreed.
Sometimes resolving the practical concerns behind a disagreement can make reaching an agreement much easier.
Can We Agree Rules for Future Holidays?
This can be one of the most useful parts of mediation.
Rather than dealing only with the holiday immediately in front of you, parents can discuss how they want holidays to work in the future.
For example, you might agree how much notice you will give one another before booking an overseas trip, what information will be provided and when passports will be handed over.
You could also discuss school holidays more generally, including how longer breaks such as the summer holidays will be divided.
Having an agreed approach can reduce uncertainty and hopefully prevent the same argument happening every time either parent wants to take the child away.
What Happens If We Still Can’t Agree?
Family mediation is voluntary and an agreement cannot be imposed on either parent.
If you cannot reach an agreement through mediation, you can consider what you want to do next. This may include obtaining independent legal advice about the options available in your particular circumstances.
Even if you do not reach a complete agreement, mediation can sometimes help clarify exactly what remains in dispute.
Family Mediation When Parents Disagree About Holidays
A holiday should be something for a child to look forward to, but disagreements between separated parents can quickly turn holiday arrangements into a source of stress.
If your ex won’t agree to your child going on holiday, PAX Mediation can help you have the conversation.
Our family mediators work with separated parents to discuss holidays, passports, school holiday arrangements and other decisions affecting their children in a calm, structured and impartial environment.
We do not take sides or tell parents what they should do. We help you identify the issues, understand each other’s concerns and explore whether you can find a way forward that works for your family.
This article provides general information only and does not constitute legal advice. Every family’s circumstances are different. If you require advice about your legal position, you should speak to a suitably qualified legal professional.
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